Guaranteed to be unprofessional, inattentive, capricious, and subject to bribery. (Liquor and food seem to be favorites.) Satisfactory bribes will earn the “Ribbon of Dishonor,” to be placed on the car’s windshield. Don’t like their decisions? Check your ticket–you’re at the wrong car show.
This year the Concours d’Lemons has suckered several automotive world luminaries into being Guest Judges. They risk their reputation, you get to hob knob with big wigs, everyone has a good time.
BY REGION OF ORIGIN
RUST BELT AMERICAN JUNK – Ford
RUST BELT AMERICAN JUNK – GM
RUST BELT AMERICAN JUNK – Mopar
RUST BELT AMERICAN JUNK – Other
AWARD: The French Legion of Horror
AWARD: The Royal Order of MOT Failure
NEEDLESSLY COMPLEX ITALIAN
AWARD: Conoscete un Buon Meccanico? Plaque
SOUL-SUCKING JAPANESE APPLIANCE
AWARD: Vladimir Ilyich Lenin Medal for Most Glorious Achievement in Transportative Advancement for Use Upon Billiard-Smooth Highways as Are Uniformly to Be Found Inside Workers’ Paradise
Wonders of the Korean Peninsula
The Griot’s Garage “Your Car Really Needs Out Products” prize pack
Best Back Seat
Slightly Better Than a Go-Kart
Sight for Sour Eyes
Driving on a Prayer
CHRONIC DICK-TEAGUE SYNDROME
For: AMC, 1964-1983
For: Oddball motorcycles, Norton Rotaries, CBXs, Ariel Square Fours, Zuki RE5s, monkey bikes, mini bikes, etc.
WORST IN SHOW
For: Car with largest percentage of value drop (MB S600, etc.)